Just A Mom

I know, and understand, the value of living "one day at a time." I know that any one of us can be taken from this life at any moment. I do get it. But it's not as easy to accept when the doctor tells you that your tiny baby daughter has a life-threatening disease that will take her from this world too soon.

I'm often told that I'm "a good mom," or that I'm "so brave" and "so strong." But the reality is that I am the furthest thing from extraordinary -- I am just a mom who faces extraordinary circumstances. I'm just a mom who loves her children so much that I feel sometimes like I can breathe. I'm just a mom who feels like it's not fair that I allow myself to look at Jake and Owen (Violet's brothers) and picture them as men at their wedding, or with their own children some day. But Violet's diagnosis stole that indulgence from me where she is concerned. I can't bear to think of a future of which she may not be a part. I can't bear to think of her health decreasing as the years go by.  ... So the understanding of those words, "one day at a time," have become my greatest gift, keeping me safe from those painful thoughts, and simultaneously, my greatest annoyance, because I don't want to live "one day at a time" every single day. I want to think about the future. I want to picture Violet as a bride. I want to know her as a mother. I want imagine myself dying before her.

I made this video a few weeks ago when Violet was sick ... and we thought for sure that she would be admitted again. It's not the video I intended to make. It's hard for me to show it. I've kept it hidden on my hard drive..afraid to expose my true self. This video was supposed to be that picture of me being so brave. So Strong..... I am a faithful person. I believe in God. I believe in the power of prayer.  I also  believe in positive energy. I  believe in good people and that all good comes from the same place in everyone's heart, no matter what our faith. And I am only human. And this is me...just a mom:



PLEASE UNDERSTAND!!! The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is SO CLOSE to finding a cure. There IS a drug out there RIGHT NOW that has the potential to help Violet LIVE a healthy life. .... My greatest priority in this world is to make sure that she has the opportunity to benefit from this drug. The way I do this is by raising money for the CFF - because they can give my daughter a future - so I will do what it takes to give them what they need.  You can help me get this cure for Violet ... and for ALL of those who have CF.  There are two ways.. Please donate to our personal fundraising page, or please join us... join us and help us raise money to help us get that cure to Violet sooner.
CLICK HERE to help:
www.cff.org/Great_Strides/RebeccaDixon5175